Some Things Can’t Be Fixed

Super Glue® is some amazing stuff. It has the incredible strength to bond things together that seem hopelessness broken. It does have its shortcomings though. There is one thing that even Super Glue® can’t fix: broken trust. Real trust is a characteristic that is very difficult to find in modern society. It’s like a rare precious gem. If you ever find it, you should take great care to protect and preserve it. Once shattered, our amazing glue can’t fix it. It is like crumbling up a piece of paper and then trying to restore to its perfectly flat shape – it can’t happen. Trust can take months, even years to become rock solid. However, it can take just one minute…one small action or one small omission…to rain nuclear devastation on the once solid bunker.

The ability to trust someone is truly one of life’s treasures. It is so valuable I’m surprised Lloyd’s of London doesn’t insure it! Not everyone will have friends or family who they can really trust. Those who do should go to great lengths to preserve it. Once scratched, it leaves doubts…but may possibly be repaired. Once broken, its toast. I know there is a lot written on restoring trust but, personally, I think its all a bunch of bullshit. I believe we have the ability to forgive, but that doesn’t mean we will ever be rock solid again. Why risk it? If you have but one person who you really trust, believe me…you are blessed! Why in the world would you want to risk losing that. It is entirely possible you could go through life never having it again. It’s that bloody rare!

Why is trust such a beautiful thing not to be sacrificed on the altar of selfishness? First and foremost, trust is belief in someone. It’s an assurance that a person can be relied upon to be truthful with you and to have your back. Trust believes a person possesses the character to treat you with love, respect and loyalty. Preserve this and it will never rust, decay or be stolen. Pause for a moment to hold this jewel under a magnifying glass and behold its many facets:

Trust is confidence. If you ever begin to wonder if you trust someone, you already don’t. Trust is certain and doesn’t have to think about it…it knows. Isn’t that great, one less thing to think about in life.

Trust is

Some of you will get it….

Trust is truth. Trust does not lie. Trust does not hide and conceal. Trust is authenticity, and it’s comfortably an open book. You can turn to any chapter or page and find honesty and frankness.

Trust is assurance. Trust calms my nerves because it assures me everything is OK. Doubt is a cloudy maze. It is a quicksand that doesn’t seem to have any solid footing. Assurance is like standing on the Rock of Gibraltar. It is a really good feeling.

Trust is expectation. Trust believes in character and expects a person to act, or respond, a certain way. It is an assumption of predictability based on past knowledge and experiences. Trust doesn’t anticipate surprises.

Trust is conviction. Trust cannot be stolen by third-party attempts. It is not dented by hearsay. Trust doesn’t live on the surface, it dwells deep within us. There are strong castle walls and a huge moat that makes it a difficult target to assail.

Trust is reliance. Trust is a mutual dependence. Trust relies on someone to cover you, that is, to have your back. While charging the battles of life, you never have to look back to see whether or not your trustee has fled the field.

Trust is freedom. We all know those we trust have the ability to hurt us, but we give them space anyway. It is a true blessing to live your life unshackled. Most people trudge through their days dragging a ball and chain.

Sins of Commission and Sins of Omission

We mainly think of broken trust as a lie, or some act that a trusted person commits. But what is equally devilish is not revealing truth, or by leaving off doing something that should have been done. This also whips out the bolt cutters and snips the chain asunder. We are told that every person has their dirty little secrets and I am not saying it is absolutely wrong to hold on to secrets. What I am saying is this: withheld secrets which ought to be revealed in a trust relationship puts everything at risk. Jesus stated in Luke 8:17, “For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.” I am a firm believer in this, and life’s experiences confirm it over and over again. Given time, all facades decay and reveal what’s behind them. It may be hours, days, months or even years – but nothing is hid that will not come to light. Secrets are about as safe as licking an electrical outlet. Even more difficult to suppress are lies. The best liars in the world are ticking bombs. They will slip up or someone else will do it for them…just know its coming.

The best thing to do is to fess up and hope your trust is merely scratched and not shattered. We all make mistakes, but a true friend owns up to them. It takes courage, but it shows how much you value the trust relationship. It manifests your desire to be upfront, truthful and confessing. In short, it shows how much you care. Believe me, if the offended party finds out on their own, it will not merely be a scratch. It will be exponentially worse than that. Some would say it is not worth the risk. What I’m saying is: “why are we even contemplating it?” If you demand your trust partner to be open and honest with you, how can you question the reciprocity. You can’t eat your cake and have it on the plate too!

Not everyone is worthy to have a trust relationship. How much more careful to avoid mud would you be if you were wearing a $200 pair of shoes, compared with wearing an old well-worn worthless pair of tennis shoes? Everyone has family and friends. Some of those relationships are worn-out, dirty old shoes – but maybe, just maybe, there is a diamond-studded stiletto that is to be prized, polished and handled with great care. This is what I’m addressing. This is what I want to scream from the rooftop: DO NOT RISK DAMAGING YOUR VALUABLE RELATIONSHIPS! There is nothing worth that risk. You may never have it again for the rest of your life. Super Glue® can not fix it. Think about it…